[Gpdd] MISC: Cinnamon Bear

[Michael Tanaka]

Hello everyone and everypig.  Thank you for all your input and thoughts.  As 
mentioned earlier, the first vet's office blamed me for increasing the dose 
of metacam from .1 to .15 and then said they wouldn't refill the 
prescription because I had overdosed him and damaged his kidneys. 
Obviously, we had to explain what had already been done so the next vet's 
office got the report from the first vet's office--which 'clearly shows' 
that I was at fault and that I overdosed him so I was refused more metacam 
(the first vet gave three .1 doses which I turned into two .15 doses).  So 
it IS MY FAULT that Cinnamon Bear suffered because I had no pain meds to 
give him on his last day. IF I hadn't overdosed him, I might have gotten a 
refill and that would have helped him in his pain on his last day.

Obviously, we thought he'd get better.

I hadn't eaten much of anything since Thursday, nor drank much of anything 
(I found out I was quite dehydrated), only slept an hour or less each day. 
Because of my health problems, I felt 'not myself' and after losing Cinnamon 
Bear, I just thought I'd continue with the course I was on, and join him in 
a few days.  But on Wednesday, at lunchtime, I heard Cinnamon Bear say that 
he wanted me to eat something.  So I reluctantly did.  I even ate some 
dinner and began to drink more.

Even though I have difficulty accepting these things, sometimes I don't 
really do, it helps me to know that he may be watching over me.  I don't 
take credit for the following but it's helped me, sometimes, at times like 
these:

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you so softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you - I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wished I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over now ... I smile and watch you yawning,
And say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

 I can't wait to be reunited with you, Cinnamon Bear!  Be on the lookout for 
me!

Love, your mommy corrine and daddy michael