[Gpdd] [Health] Chloe and Me

[Kimi San]

Hello everyone and everypig!

I apologize in advance, this'll likely be long. I feel I should say
something about my absence, and my sort-of-broken promise. I don't know what
to say. I guess "sorry" would be silly, because everyone here has been so
amazingly understanding, but I feel like I should say something! I've never
had such a hard time or taken so long to finish a story as the problems I've
experienced with Palace of the Piggle. To the people who were enjoying it
and want to see the rest, I can only say that I haven't forgotten my oath,
and that somehow, someway, by golly PotP WILL see completion. I can't
believe it's been about two years since I started that darn thing! You poor
readers, I'm sorry.

All the rapid-fire changes of the past few years have simply been...
difficult for me, and Chloe too. The quick succession of my sister and then
my not-blood brother leaving this earth, then my significant other deciding
to leave, we've been through two moves, and now the government has suddenly
decided that since I'm older I shouldn't get my financial aid or something
silly... I only have one more year of college, FAFSA, c'mon let me finish!
D: But Believe it or NOT! (can you spot the copywright infringement?) life
is actually looking up (or was till Chloe got sick!) and I plan to finish
this story THIS SEMESTER. For Chloe's sake, if nothing else. Certainly for
you guys, who have been both so appreciative and so patient.

Anyway. On to the meat of this story. Chloe. This poor girl has been through
almost as much as me. With all these changes, and with my dismal depression
(even though I'm a little down today because of Chloe's sickness, I promise
I'm doing a lot better in that arena though!) and the bustle of school and
work and trying to get through each little day, she had to experience a
great deal of fluctuation in how much out-of-cage attention she was getting.
She'd get to come out in spurts, then some new thing would come up and I'd
be busy, and she'd get a clean cage, food, water, treaties, and some pats
and cooing before I would have to run off again. The moves were straining on
her too, I think. In response, and perhaps also in light of her advancing
age (this little girl is now five), she stopped being quite as active as she
used to be. I chalked it up to stress, and though I felt guilty for causing
it, I didn't get alarmed, figuring I got a lot less active when I was
depressed too and that I should let her do exactly as she pleased. Over time
she became obsessed with hiding, choosing to be under a blanket even when
she wasn't in the cage, (only exception being when she's held) and staying
under something as much as possible when she was in the cage. Again, I said
to myself, "well with what I've put this poor girl through, it's no wonder"
and figured that since it was my fault for being the worst piggie mom in the
world, I should let her hide if that was what made her comfortable.

Well, all that hiding and less activeness meant that she messed and sat in
the same spot, and despite "freshening" the cage in between (weekly)
cleanings with new, dry shavings, she developed an infection in her feet.
Feeling like a failure of a pig owner, I took her to the vet, who prescribed
a big whopping dose of baytril twice a day. We've faithfully given it each
day (she despises it and it makes me feel like a monster to have to make her
take it). But her condition hasn't improved. Her eyes are secreting little
blobs of crusty stuff (the vet told me not to worry about that, she felt the
antibiotic would clear it up along with the foot problem... ack but it
didn't!). Her feet are still a bit red and swollen, but now also they are
dry and peeling. No blood or pus, but it seems like the tippy-top layer of
skin on her feet doesn't like being there anymore. They look hideous, I
think I could be hauled away for horrible abuse or something if anyone had a
look at this poor baby's feet. :(

I finally called the vet again today because last night I gave her an apple
and when I got home from school this afternoon, it was untouched! And her
water bottle is still full! That is NOT like Chloe at all, who since
babyhood has taken in more water than I ever thought an animal her size
should be able to hold, and who devours apples with all the gusto and relish
of a true guinea piggily. She's got another appointment on Friday, but I'm
terrified...

With the anniversary of my sister's death looming close, I cannot stand the
thought of losing Chloe (and it probably being all my fault for sucking at
life and pig parenthood since I've been basically a failure at everything
and am only just now starting to be able to pick up the pieces...). But what
am I going to do if she's really sick?! I can't even afford school right now
because financial aid is being a putz (meeting with them tomorrow, if I
can't straighten this out, I can't afford my rent! school loans pay for my
housing right now!). I'd hate to have to put her down just because I can't
afford treatment... the thought makes me cringe. But I can't leave her to
suffer if she's sick, with no treatment! I'm feeling pretty defeated and
sick at heart right now.

Whatever advice, suggestions, or comfort you can offer us would be deeply
appreciated. I suppose roasting me over an open flame for letting her get
bumblefoot is possibly deserved too but it's not going to help my stress
levels much. :P