[Gpdd] MISC- Molly's passing

Jaime rzm.2 at juno.com
Sat Aug 25 16:56:58 EDT 2007


  I feel the need to explain my recent posts after Molly dying. I didn't mean to sound whiny or feeling sorry for myself. For those who don't know, I am bipolar. Most people don't completely understand what "bipolar" means. They generally think of some "crazy" or "dangerous" person who flips out easily or doesn't live a quote "normal" life. (What is a normal life anyway!?) However,there are many different types of bipolar disorder & I have the kind that makes you feel down most of the time, as opposed to the types that tend to make you have those major mood swings. I also tend to have very drastic reactions to things. What is sadness to most people when their animals die is complete despair to me. I actually tend to lose my ability to function. I feel things much deeper then I should & lose the reality of the situation sometimes. This applies to everything, not just my animals, but since I am so attached to my animals, it affects my perspective with them even more. They don't judge me for being bipolar like most people who know about it do. Other then my husband & parents, not many people know I am bipolar. There is alot of stigma in our society about this disorder & it is very misunderstood. The other thing that is hard for me is the ups & downs of having a sick piggie. As you may or may not know, part of being bipolar is, of course, the many ups & downs that you can go thru. Feeling on top of the world one day & in deep despair the next. Then add in the ups & downs of a sick piggie & it can make that worse. I think we've all experienced how a piggie can be fine one hour & a few hours later be drastically worse. Or one day you think they're going to make it, only to wake up the next day & they are on death's door. Those ups & downs don't help my problem, but my husband & family think I tend to do much better when I have animals in my life. I tend to focus on them instead of myself & everything is fine until an illness comes along. The illness with Molly hit so fast. It just seemed like all the sudden she was gone & I didn't have any time to prepare myself for that. Then the same day I heard the verdict of the Kirchner case & I just felt like the world was crashing in on me. I feel so strongly about what he did to those animals, & like most things, I just get way to emotionally involved. It's part of the illness. I do take meds, but I was having problems with the one so they are working on trying to find another med to replace it, so I am without. Then all this happened at the same time & I just lost it. So I apologize for my slight freakout. 
  I also deal with fibromyalgia & I kind of spooked at the amount of us who deal with this illness. My we should change the name of the digest...hmmm..."fibromyalgia daily digest" just doesn't have a good ring to it. If anyone is interested in talking about it off digest please e-mail me. I know how hard it is. 
  I thank everyone for their overwhelming support in helping deal with the loss of Molly & also with my own personal problems. I honestly don't know what I would do without you guys.
  My husband also would like to thank everyone for their nice words of condolences. He misses his little girl too. 
  Sorry for such a long post. Thanks again.


~Jaime~
~Molly,Radar & Albert always in our hearts~ 





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