[Gpdd] RAINBOW BRIDGE: Topper

Candy G. crawdad1953 at hotmail.com
Fri Feb 8 00:22:59 EST 2008


Greetings, Digest Family - Well, it's Thursday evening and exactly one week 
ago at this time, I was sitting on the couch with 
Topper in my lap trying so hard to come up with 
all the reasons that I should keep him with me 
another month, another week, another day.  None 
of those reasons, though, could measure up against 
seeing him miserable and in pain, knowing that - 
being the brave little warrior that he was - he would 
continue to fight on as long as I continued to hold on 
to him.  So, the next morning, Friday, February 1st, 
we held him and loved him and comforted him while 
the vet put him to sleep. Duke, he made me promise to wait to post his Bridge 
Journey because he didn't want to cast a shadow over 
your birthday festivities.  He asked as he was getting 
drowsy if Oz was on the way to the Bridge and I told 
him it could be if he wanted it to be.  He said he did 
'cause he wanted to send you a "Happy Birthday" as 
he went by and then he smiled and mumbled 
something about romaine hats and "Rumblestrut 
Blues" and snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm.  The past 6+ years of my life are filled full of Topper 
memories.  He was, from day one, a hellacious, 
bodacious boar.  He was such a little runt when I first 
brought him home - so tiny that he could fit into a 
small "paw print mitt" Christmas decoration all curled 
up asleep with room to spare.  He fit right into the 
palm of my hand!  It was so much fun to watch him 
popcorning and running around and tossing his little 
house into the air, and I'll never forget his first big 
"WHEEK!!!"  Such a LARGE sound to come from such 
a wee little beastie! When Mollie came on the scene three months after 
he came to live with us, it was love at first sight.  He 
would take the tips of your fingers off to get at his 
veggies, by golly(!), but yet would always let Mollie 
have first choice at the food bowl.  Right at the end 
of her life, when she was becoming too ill to eat, he 
would pick up a piece of broccoli (her favorite), take 
it over, and place it in front of her and nuzzle her 
trying to get her to eat.  He would also nudge her 
over to the water bottle and put his head under hers 
and try to lift her head up to the tube.  Most people 
don't believe me when I tell them that, but I know 
you GPDD folks understand and know what surprising 
things these little ones can do.  I thought after we 
lost Mollie that we were going to lose Topper, too.  He 
was utterly silent for months - not one sound - and 
nearly grieved himself to death.  Then, one day - some months after Mollie's death - I 
heard a tiny 'burble' when I petted him and, gradually, 
those burbles became more frequent.  Then, there 
was a soft 'wheek' one night at veggie time, and 
those became more frequent, too.  After that, he 
slowly started burbling and rumbling and wheeking 
again.  Not quite the same as before he lost Mollie, 
but healthily and - once again - with LOUD abandon!  
:)  He was a happy piggie again... and my heart 
started beating again. His loud times were always so boisterous and fun.  
Sometimes, he would start wheeking like crazy while I 
was on the phone to my mother in Mississippi.  Several 
times, she thought it was the smoke detector going off 
- hahaha!  We lost Mama last March.  She was very fond 
of Topper and Mollie.  She called them "Mr. and Mrs. Pig".  
I'll bet they are both cuddled in her lap right this minute. I never realized how much the soft sounds of his 
mutterings and burblings and rumbles, the 'banging of 
his sipper tube' <a smile here>, the rearranging of his 
furniture, and the patter of his little feetsies trotting 
around in his various 'living locales' added to the 
backdrop of our family life.  They were comforting 
sounds... sounds that, many times, we were not even 
consciously aware of but yet always made us feel calmer 
and more peaceful, like everything was okay.  It is so 
quiet in the house now.  The absence of those wonderful 
little sounds is deafening.  It's too quiet to think.  It's 
jarring and awful and empty. There are so many things that I am going to miss.  
Topper was the only other male to ever live in our 
household.  This, naturally, created quite the strong 
bond between him and my hubby, Carl.  A 'guy thing' 
for sure.  When I was out of town, Carl would tell me 
that 'everything was just fine'... that he and Topper 
were kicked back on the couch with their feet propped 
up on the furniture, smoking cigars, and watching dirty 
movies.  [If you knew my dear hubby, you would know 
how outrageous that behavior would be for him and 
what a funny mental image it created <laughter>].  
Carl would take Topper out of his cage or pool for 
'floor time' and very softly yell, "Power to the GPLF 
(Guinea Pig Liberation Front)!!!  Go, Topper, GO!!  
Another mad dash in the name of Piggie Freedom!!!" 
and Topper would run his little legs off, giving Carl a 
wheek every time he would pass him!  It cracked me 
up every single time they ever did it.  Poor, poor Carl.  
His heart is so broken.  I wish I could just hold him 
and make the pain go away.   I'm going to miss all of mine and Topper's special 
times together... in the mornings when I would give 
him his Vitamin C and CritterBerries when he would 
stand with his two little front feet planted firmly on 
my fingers with his head stretched way out like 
"Faster, Mama!  I'm hungry!!" ...and him standing 
up as tall as he could with his paws up on the side 
of his pool in the evenings wheeking at the top of 
his lungs for his veggies... and the hundreds of 
times during the day when I would give him a pat 
or stand and talk or sing to him, or just call out to 
him from another room and hear him wheek back.  
I will always miss our special cuddle time at night 
(and sometimes several times a night on the many, 
many nights that I couldn't sleep), when we would 
curl up together on the couch and he would nestle 
into the crook of my arm, take a deep breath, 
flatten out, and go sound to sleep with me rubbing 
his nose and stroking his back and holding his 
beautiful little feet. The last two weeks of his life, we spent more and 
more time like that on the couch.  It seemed to 
be the only time he was truly comfortable and 
relaxed.  We were snowed in up here on the hill 
for several days and I will always - ALWAYS - 
believe that it was a special blessing and gift that 
I was given to let me be here around the clock 
with Topper and hold him and love him and spend 
every minute of those last days together, not having 
to go anywhere else, not having to do anything else. After living well over six years with no dental 
problems at all, Topper started having trouble about 
three weeks ago.  The dental surgery that should 
have "fixed him right up" didn't, and he continued 
to be in pain and unable to eat in a comfortable way.  
More xrays showed that his teeth were not only 
growing in the proper direction, but also in the 
opposite direction, into his lower jaw bone and up 
through his upper jaw into his sinuses.  Finally, his 
continuing discomfort began to make sense.  This 
is a very painful problem for piggies (for some 
reason, much more painful than it evidently is in 
rabbits) and very hard to treat.  Various pain meds 
did not help the TopperMan and, as we watched 
him grow more still and tense over the next few 
days, even with the million things that we were 
doing to try to help him eat and drink and make 
him better, we knew that the few minutes each 
day when he would try to move around and show 
interest in anything was no longer outweighing 
the other 23+ hours of the day where he was 
staying huddled in his house, fluffed up, staring 
at nothing we could see, and utterly still.  I'll 
always wonder if he was staring off into the 
distance at Mollie waiting for him at the Bridge, 
knowing that it was finally time to go and be 
reunited with her. Last Friday morning - with my dear hubby shedding 
tons of silent tears and me quietly singing our dear 
piggieboy all of his favorite "Topper Songs" - we 
cradled him as he gently went to sleep for the last 
time.  Our hearts shattered into ten million pieces.  
Everything has changed.  Even Cat X walks and 
looks for him in all of his piggie places.  Sadly, too 
many of you, by far, know what I am describing.  
As we have all marveled too often, how can such a 
small, tiny little being leave such a tremendously 
huge gaping hole in our hearts and lives?   
  For once - for those of you who are familiar with my 
posts - I am not going to apologize for the length of 
this post.  As all of our piggies do, Topper deserves 
this and more.  I am 'speaking my grief' in the digest 
(and will speak of it nowhere else in this detailed way) 
because I know that you wonderful people who are 
reading this know and understand EXACTLY what I 
am thinking and feeling. What a tremendous source 
of strength and comfort you are.  Thank you for 
taking the time to read this and thank you for the love, 
understanding and support that I know you are already 
sending our way.  You folks have been and will always 
be THE BEST.
 
Topper the Pig ~ September 1, 2001 - February 1, 2007.   Goodbye, little one... TopperMan, the Topmeister, 
TippityTopper.  You were our little sweatheart for a 
long time - a tiny little guy in a black and tan fur suit.  
You gave us joy and laughter and unconditional love.  
We'll always love you.  We'll always miss you.  Give 
Mollie a kiss for us.  We'll see you again at the Bridge. Candy and the notorious (and lonesome) Cat X(with Topper and Mollie always in our hearts)  


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