[Gpdd] RAINBOW BRIDGE: Topper
Candy G.
crawdad1953 at hotmail.com
Fri Feb 8 00:22:59 EST 2008
Greetings, Digest Family - Well, it's Thursday evening and exactly one week
ago at this time, I was sitting on the couch with
Topper in my lap trying so hard to come up with
all the reasons that I should keep him with me
another month, another week, another day. None
of those reasons, though, could measure up against
seeing him miserable and in pain, knowing that -
being the brave little warrior that he was - he would
continue to fight on as long as I continued to hold on
to him. So, the next morning, Friday, February 1st,
we held him and loved him and comforted him while
the vet put him to sleep. Duke, he made me promise to wait to post his Bridge
Journey because he didn't want to cast a shadow over
your birthday festivities. He asked as he was getting
drowsy if Oz was on the way to the Bridge and I told
him it could be if he wanted it to be. He said he did
'cause he wanted to send you a "Happy Birthday" as
he went by and then he smiled and mumbled
something about romaine hats and "Rumblestrut
Blues" and snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm. The past 6+ years of my life are filled full of Topper
memories. He was, from day one, a hellacious,
bodacious boar. He was such a little runt when I first
brought him home - so tiny that he could fit into a
small "paw print mitt" Christmas decoration all curled
up asleep with room to spare. He fit right into the
palm of my hand! It was so much fun to watch him
popcorning and running around and tossing his little
house into the air, and I'll never forget his first big
"WHEEK!!!" Such a LARGE sound to come from such
a wee little beastie! When Mollie came on the scene three months after
he came to live with us, it was love at first sight. He
would take the tips of your fingers off to get at his
veggies, by golly(!), but yet would always let Mollie
have first choice at the food bowl. Right at the end
of her life, when she was becoming too ill to eat, he
would pick up a piece of broccoli (her favorite), take
it over, and place it in front of her and nuzzle her
trying to get her to eat. He would also nudge her
over to the water bottle and put his head under hers
and try to lift her head up to the tube. Most people
don't believe me when I tell them that, but I know
you GPDD folks understand and know what surprising
things these little ones can do. I thought after we
lost Mollie that we were going to lose Topper, too. He
was utterly silent for months - not one sound - and
nearly grieved himself to death. Then, one day - some months after Mollie's death - I
heard a tiny 'burble' when I petted him and, gradually,
those burbles became more frequent. Then, there
was a soft 'wheek' one night at veggie time, and
those became more frequent, too. After that, he
slowly started burbling and rumbling and wheeking
again. Not quite the same as before he lost Mollie,
but healthily and - once again - with LOUD abandon!
:) He was a happy piggie again... and my heart
started beating again. His loud times were always so boisterous and fun.
Sometimes, he would start wheeking like crazy while I
was on the phone to my mother in Mississippi. Several
times, she thought it was the smoke detector going off
- hahaha! We lost Mama last March. She was very fond
of Topper and Mollie. She called them "Mr. and Mrs. Pig".
I'll bet they are both cuddled in her lap right this minute. I never realized how much the soft sounds of his
mutterings and burblings and rumbles, the 'banging of
his sipper tube' <a smile here>, the rearranging of his
furniture, and the patter of his little feetsies trotting
around in his various 'living locales' added to the
backdrop of our family life. They were comforting
sounds... sounds that, many times, we were not even
consciously aware of but yet always made us feel calmer
and more peaceful, like everything was okay. It is so
quiet in the house now. The absence of those wonderful
little sounds is deafening. It's too quiet to think. It's
jarring and awful and empty. There are so many things that I am going to miss.
Topper was the only other male to ever live in our
household. This, naturally, created quite the strong
bond between him and my hubby, Carl. A 'guy thing'
for sure. When I was out of town, Carl would tell me
that 'everything was just fine'... that he and Topper
were kicked back on the couch with their feet propped
up on the furniture, smoking cigars, and watching dirty
movies. [If you knew my dear hubby, you would know
how outrageous that behavior would be for him and
what a funny mental image it created <laughter>].
Carl would take Topper out of his cage or pool for
'floor time' and very softly yell, "Power to the GPLF
(Guinea Pig Liberation Front)!!! Go, Topper, GO!!
Another mad dash in the name of Piggie Freedom!!!"
and Topper would run his little legs off, giving Carl a
wheek every time he would pass him! It cracked me
up every single time they ever did it. Poor, poor Carl.
His heart is so broken. I wish I could just hold him
and make the pain go away. I'm going to miss all of mine and Topper's special
times together... in the mornings when I would give
him his Vitamin C and CritterBerries when he would
stand with his two little front feet planted firmly on
my fingers with his head stretched way out like
"Faster, Mama! I'm hungry!!" ...and him standing
up as tall as he could with his paws up on the side
of his pool in the evenings wheeking at the top of
his lungs for his veggies... and the hundreds of
times during the day when I would give him a pat
or stand and talk or sing to him, or just call out to
him from another room and hear him wheek back.
I will always miss our special cuddle time at night
(and sometimes several times a night on the many,
many nights that I couldn't sleep), when we would
curl up together on the couch and he would nestle
into the crook of my arm, take a deep breath,
flatten out, and go sound to sleep with me rubbing
his nose and stroking his back and holding his
beautiful little feet. The last two weeks of his life, we spent more and
more time like that on the couch. It seemed to
be the only time he was truly comfortable and
relaxed. We were snowed in up here on the hill
for several days and I will always - ALWAYS -
believe that it was a special blessing and gift that
I was given to let me be here around the clock
with Topper and hold him and love him and spend
every minute of those last days together, not having
to go anywhere else, not having to do anything else. After living well over six years with no dental
problems at all, Topper started having trouble about
three weeks ago. The dental surgery that should
have "fixed him right up" didn't, and he continued
to be in pain and unable to eat in a comfortable way.
More xrays showed that his teeth were not only
growing in the proper direction, but also in the
opposite direction, into his lower jaw bone and up
through his upper jaw into his sinuses. Finally, his
continuing discomfort began to make sense. This
is a very painful problem for piggies (for some
reason, much more painful than it evidently is in
rabbits) and very hard to treat. Various pain meds
did not help the TopperMan and, as we watched
him grow more still and tense over the next few
days, even with the million things that we were
doing to try to help him eat and drink and make
him better, we knew that the few minutes each
day when he would try to move around and show
interest in anything was no longer outweighing
the other 23+ hours of the day where he was
staying huddled in his house, fluffed up, staring
at nothing we could see, and utterly still. I'll
always wonder if he was staring off into the
distance at Mollie waiting for him at the Bridge,
knowing that it was finally time to go and be
reunited with her. Last Friday morning - with my dear hubby shedding
tons of silent tears and me quietly singing our dear
piggieboy all of his favorite "Topper Songs" - we
cradled him as he gently went to sleep for the last
time. Our hearts shattered into ten million pieces.
Everything has changed. Even Cat X walks and
looks for him in all of his piggie places. Sadly, too
many of you, by far, know what I am describing.
As we have all marveled too often, how can such a
small, tiny little being leave such a tremendously
huge gaping hole in our hearts and lives?
For once - for those of you who are familiar with my
posts - I am not going to apologize for the length of
this post. As all of our piggies do, Topper deserves
this and more. I am 'speaking my grief' in the digest
(and will speak of it nowhere else in this detailed way)
because I know that you wonderful people who are
reading this know and understand EXACTLY what I
am thinking and feeling. What a tremendous source
of strength and comfort you are. Thank you for
taking the time to read this and thank you for the love,
understanding and support that I know you are already
sending our way. You folks have been and will always
be THE BEST.
Topper the Pig ~ September 1, 2001 - February 1, 2007. Goodbye, little one... TopperMan, the Topmeister,
TippityTopper. You were our little sweatheart for a
long time - a tiny little guy in a black and tan fur suit.
You gave us joy and laughter and unconditional love.
We'll always love you. We'll always miss you. Give
Mollie a kiss for us. We'll see you again at the Bridge. Candy and the notorious (and lonesome) Cat X(with Topper and Mollie always in our hearts)
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