[Gpdd] Health - Cocoa (And strangely, I am up)

[Algernon07 at aol.com]

Dear Suzy,

     My heart hurts for you right now. I was so hoping that little Cocoa 
could be fixed with some dental work. Carla M. used a sling for one of her boys 
but it did not correct the problem as I recall. Her email address is: 
cmartinez36 at comcast.net

     In spite of all her efforts she lost her little guy. 

     Your post reminds me of myself when needing to make such decision. 
Sometimes a little one is so visibly miserable that there is no question that you 
need to help him or her to the Bridge as quickly as possible. But then there 
are times such as the one you're describing when the course of right action is 
not so clear. Yours reminds me of the situation with my little Chester in 
December.

     I felt such an uncertainty regarding which way to go then -- to continue 
treating him for a while longer or to just let the little guy go. 
Unfortunately, weather and where I live was also a factor in my decision. 

     But, the facts were that Chester really wasn't eating, pooing, urinating 
or drinking. Like you, syringing was my only option, and I kept us both busy 
with that syringe. I wanted to keep him with me until I was 100% sure that I 
HAD to act to terminate his life and put an end to very clear suffering. It's 
always easier then, under those kinds of circumstances. 

     Nonetheless, I had to make the decision: should I act in a way to make 
ME feel "comfortable," i.e., let things go on longer or do what I needed to do 
to prevent Chester from greater suffering?

     Keep in mind, whose needs really need to be met? Yours or Cocoa's?

     Tomorrow may bring a whole new insight, and I pray for you that suddenly 
everything will be fine with Cocoa. BUT, if he needs to go to the Bridge, be 
strong enough to help him. And I speak out of experience -- too much 
experience, unfortunately.

     I can wish you only the best, and I don't want to be influencing you 
though that certainly seems to be the case. In truth, I still miss Chester 
terribly. And I still sometimes try to second guess myself these several months 
later. 

I wish you great wisdom and guidance at this difficult time,
Alge


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