[Gpdd] Rainbow Bridge: Losing a piggie

[ME]

After trying to nurse Liberty back to health for several months and  
losing her last month ... and then almost immediately after that,  
having to care for Grace (who just had surgery six days ago) ...  
losing a pig has been on my mind for awhile now.  It seems there are  
a few things that always seem to occur.  You're never really ready  
for it, even when you say you are and have given the pig permission  
to go if they need to go (when I suspect it's time, I always tell  
them that it's okay for them to go and that we'll all be okay without  
them).  And you always feel some amount of guilt (often in the form  
of "What if"), no matter how long you cared for them or what you did  
for them.

I think it's very natural, and it's just part of the grieving  
process ... and in the end, you realize that you did all you could,  
and maybe there were some things you could have done better ... and  
you'll try those things the next time.  I know I care for my ailing  
pigs much differently than I did 20 years ago ... even 10 years ago.   
And I celebrate their good health as well ... always keeping them  
close since I know they aren't going to be with me for as long as I'd  
want them to be.  Even the ones that seem more standoffish ...  
because even they start to appreciate human companionship after a  
time ... it may take years ... but that's what we have.

I do feel a little melancholy right now ... not sure how Grace will  
come out of her illness ... it's been four weeks since she started  
having a UTI and crying and blood in her urine ... and the beginning  
of hand feeding shortly after that ... she's been doing well ... not  
losing too much weight (one thing I've learned is to start hand  
feeding early, not after they've lost too much ... keep their energy  
up with a few feedings a day, so they keep rummaging throughout the  
day ... at her lowest, she had only lost about 95 grams ... she's  
about 50 grams below her normal right now).  She has a great piggie  
attitude, bossing me around a bit.  So I am optimistic, but I'm also  
worried ... especially since she's 6 years old (just turned 6 this  
month).

Well, it's almost time for her 7 a.m. meds, and then her 8 a.m.  
feeding ... my day is starting soon.