[Gpdd] Rainbow Bridge - My BELOVED DONALD

[Julie Juwles Johnson]

Hello to all GPDD friends,

It is with very heavy, shattered, broken heart that I write to let you all know that on Friday 2 October, @ 12.35pm, I had to help my Donald to the Bridge.

He had fought a valiant battle, but I knew his time had arrived, and he needed his mummy to prove how very very much she loved him by putting him out of his misery.

On Thursday, 1 Oct, at about 1pm, he'd eaten 41 vials of mash & critical care for lunch.    I tried to feed him again around 6pm, but when I put the syringe in his mouth all the food would come back out, including a lot of saliva.   I thought maybe it was too soon to feed him again after such a big meal earlier, so I put him back in his cage with his soul mate Hamish, and tried to feed him again at about 8.30pm. 

The same thing happened - I put 5 vials into his mouth, and each time the vial would just come dribbling out.    He also was drooling, his little beard was wet, so I knew that wasn't a good sign.   But, being the stupid fool I am, I thought maybe his teeth are still sore after the trip to the vet the previous day when he had a bit more filed off the molars (both upper & lower).

I was wrong.   When I woke to feed him on 2 October, he was not interested in food, his little chin was very wet, and he was making a grinding noise continually with his teeth - not the normal grinding sound, but it had a very hollow ring to it.    It had a miserable sound to it - like he was really in pain and suffering.

I rang the vet, he said if he's not even swallowing his saliva, then that would mean Donald had given up his fight and I should bring him in and they would help me help Donald over the Bridge.

I have not been able to write before now - for one reason, my eyes have been so swollen I haven't been able to see out of them properly!     I am suffering such grief at the moment, it's hard to believe that one day soon I'll feel better.   I do however feel better knowing that my beloved Donald is out of his pain, and out of that "teasing frustration" he must have been feeling every time I'd put fresh grass or veges into the cages, and he couldn't participate in eating any of it.

I'm trying hard to "pick myself up"..... but every time I lie down I keep hearing Donald's little squeak when that needle went in, knowing I caused that squeak, and know that it was then too late to turn back - I became so terrified I was hysterical there in the vet's office.   It's a horrible feeling, knowing one is taking a living creature to the vet, and would be coming home with a lifeless body and once the deed is done there is no turning back.

I'm very pleased for my Donald that he's now at peace and out of misery, because he fought a long battle and I love him all the more for it.... he didn't have quality of life, and it tore at my heart strings when I would put grass or veges into the cage, and he would jump out of his bed and just sit over the bowl.  In the end, he didn't even bother to sniff at the food, so I knew then he was unhappy.

The morning of 2 October, I knew his time had tome and I had to prove my love for him.    There's no harder decision to make, because I kept thinking, what if he can get better, etc.   You know those doubts we would all have.  Luckily for me the vet just whipped Donald out of my hands, took him to the next room, injected him and rushed him back to me in the next room to hold him until he died.   He actually was unconscious when I got him back, which was very unusual - and within 5 minutes he was dead.   The vet said it should have taken 20 minutes or more, and he said that proved he was a very sick piggy.

He's buried under a beautiful magnolia outside the kitchen window, so when I'm washing the dishes, I can see my boy's final resting place.

I'm so much missing him - when I used to cuddle him, he'd start tugging at my shirt to let me know he wanted to do wee wees and to put him back in his bed.  He'd give me little kisses - I used to call him Julio Iglesias when he was a bubby the way he'd be tugging at my clothes and kissing me!.  When I was syringe feeding him, he'd snuggle his head into my arm or my chest, or stood with two feet on my arm, just wanting to be touched and held by his mummy.

He knew there was something happening that day he went to the vet.  He knew it was different.   I couldn't stop bawling, and my Mum drove me to the vet whilst I hugged my boy to my shoulder.  He pulled a couple of times on my t-shirt, and maybe that was his way of communicating his pain and suffering to me, or maybe he was saying thank you or goodbye.  Who knows?     But, he was all about in his bed, fidgety - normally when I took him to the vet he never moved in his bed.  

After the event, I took some of his beautiful hair and have tied it into a bow, as a keepsake.

I also had my sister help me paint the soles of his little feet, and I took an impression on to some good paper, and I'll write a memorial to him on one of those pieces of paper - and put photos on the others and then frame them.  

I want to send a thank you card to the vets who cared for him, because they really did care in the true sense of the world.  They may not be cavy savvy (they're much better after the experience with Donald), but they care with their hearts.  I must say - they never charged for any of their services, not even when they put Donald to sleep.   I think that it amazing in this day and age of "business".

I will eventually get around to putting a memorial on to the Rainbow Bridge site, but that could be some time off yet.     I still haven't done Archie's or Dougall's or Brandy's memorial - and they all passed away 2 years ago.

I'm now down to 8 piggies (my sister still has Hamish, who was Donald's best friend in the universe - he has adenocarcinoma but he's outlived little Donald).

We introduced them to Honey whilst Donald was still around, because we knew Hamish would fret (he had previously been fretting so his teeth were growing the wrong way, but that was quickly fixed and no problems since).  We also put Donald's lifeless body beside Hamish, so that Hamish would know what had happened to his little mate and wouldn't fret, but would move on.    Hamish has since  moved on, he's getting on well with Honey, thank the Lord.   Not like he did with Donald - I don't think their love can ever be recreated.

I haven't read any GPDD posts for days now, so I know I'm way behind and have a lot of catching up to do - when I'm up to it.    I just can't read the Digests in case there's sad news in them - I just can't take any more sadness at this time.

I want to say a huge thank you to you all for your love, your compassion, your suggestion and thoughts, your support, your caring.   I've got so many beautiful and informative emails - they will fill a book, and I fully intend to make that book too!

I especially want to say a personal thank you to Carole, who tried tirelessly to help me, being the go-between between Vedra and me, researching so much for me, writing such long and informative and helpful email messages - all that going on whilst she was losing her own beloved piggy, and she never said a word to me about that!  That is the sign of a true, caring friend and a most wonderful human being - putting someone else (a stranger from downunder really), before her own needs and problems.

I want to say thank you to Ann Evans.... who is a wonderful, kind, caring person, who sent me important information on dentistry in piggies, on euthanasia methods, and even more importantly sent me heaps of love and support.

And then comes Glynis - sending me  Oxbow  pellets to try to tempt Donald into eating, always inquiring as to how Donald was, and  sending me loving support and friendship.

I wish I could have "rewarded" all you lovely people by having a happy ending to this saga, because I feel you all deserved to have a "win", you've all been so helpful and loving  and caring and kind.

I've lost my Donald........ but I am indeed blessed in being a part of this wonderful group and having made such beautiful friends.

May God Bless you all, and keep you and your beloved piggies and other animals safe, happy, and healthy.

God Bless
Julie (minus Donald)