[Gpdd] (Virtual) but real, Cap'n Jack Honors his Mum, Alge, on Talk Like A Pirate Day
warmbreath at comcast.net
warmbreath at comcast.net
Wed Sep 23 20:23:11 EDT 2009
Cap'n Jack Honors his Mum, Alge, On Talk Like Pirate Day
Setting: Somewhere in da Caribbean aboard da Black Pearl
"Hey all you Pirate scum, All hans on deck immejetly, Whee gotta talk! and
you out there at home, listen up cause dis pirate got sumpthin to say."
(the following text is strong in subject and parents should preview) (no
bad swear words though)
(followed by thunderings of little feetsies, and big swords clanking as
everypig on board shimmies down ropes or skitters up the stairs, others
twist gracefully out of their hammocks, much muttering as piggy pirates
are torn from their duties or leisure, they haven't figured out if they
are mad or glad about the interruption, a few wheeks and whistles ensue as
Pegleg Peaches thumps her pegleg on the deck for attention.Captain Jack
mutters to himself, takes off his hat, wipes his sweaty brow with a much
used towel he tucks it back in his belt, replaces the hat, and takes a
swig from a BPA fee water bottle, it bears a black skull and crossbones and
contains some miscellaneous rotgut he refuses to discuss. The day is a bit
overcast, clouds are piled up on the horizon, it's muggy, a little heat
lightning flickers between clouds in the distance. A few dolphins move
closer to the Pearl, they want to hear. Peaches pounds again, Cap'n Jack
clears his throat and pretends to spit on the deck, he looks dangerous,
Barnacle Bill is just behind him, Shipwreck Sam and Jodie Da Pig are
fumbling with a tiny hand held recorder. Again Peaches pounds her leg, all
is ready, silence happens, looks of attentive expectancy and a bit of fear
and worry cross some of the piggy faces, Cap'n Jack doesn't make speeches
often, and he is THE Captain. Sam's recorder clicks on, the Captain
begins.....)
Well Mateys!! Hear now that it be Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day, therefore dis
pirate is gonna talk cause I got sumthin to say and it aint pretty and it
aint nice, but whee is pirates, and my mum, Alge, has taught me dat
pirates tell it like it is. Dey dont pull no punches. So here it be mates.
My dear mum's health has taken a turn for da worse. As many of you know
she has been fighting to get on and waiting for a lung transplant. Dis is
not an easy ting to do cause dey make even the poorest pay lotsa gold for
aftercare, and
get home nurses and stuff, and go to anuder city for a 3 months. Dis
has been a struggle to deal with and da fight to make her place was not
finished when she got some worser news. She went to her doc cause she
been bleeding where she shouldn't and dat Doc said he did not like what
he saw, so she operated and after waiting and waiting, whee are told she
has anal cancer, very rare type, (of course my Mum is a very rare lady) and
it was too advanced to
take out. So she must now shuffle herself somehows to da big city where
dey will give her radiation therapies and 2 short courses of chemo, and all
dat wit no anesthesia because it be bad for her lungs. She has been bery
brave and she is still hurtin from her surgery so dats why I been away
from da Pearl zo much, and leaving you lot in charge. I gotta admit you
bin doin pretty good, but I digress....
Besides havin da big C my Mumzi will have to wait a long time extra for
her lung transplant cause one's gotta be declared cancer free for 5 years
before dey allows you da new lungs, so dat means she might age out to
where dey wont give you da new ones cause you be too old. So dis news
makes me sad, and sometimes makes me mad, so dats why me and Billy and
Sammy been so cranky lately, whee all love her zo much an whee know you
all do to, she is a fine lady with a heart as big as dis ocean, an itz
just not right an its just not fair dat dis happens to her. But whee have
all found out dat life isn't fair and sometimes it sucks, but itz still
beats the alternative. My mum has not been up to writing for a while now
but she reads all our stories on the GPDD and she wants us to know what's
been happening to her. She would love emails but can't promiz to read dem
right off, or answer for a bit. She is a strong woman an she is fighting
dis ting
and she knows whee will all fight hard and wish her well and give her da
moral support. When she is a bit better from da surgery she will be
writing again on GPDD answering piggy problem questions an writing about
our adventures here on da Pearl, but for dat she needs other mums and dads
to write der piggy stories too, can she do lots. And me mums jus want
eberybody to treat her da same way as always cause her life continues and
she is living it, an anybody who wants to talk about it can, and does who
dont wanna or get choked up, well whee just want to go on as before. Jus
now she be a bit groggy for phone calls but she's gettin bedder, she jokes
dat dis surgery be a real pain in de ass. Whee are a community and all it
peoples and piggies have der ups an downs and whee all are used to it zo
like da singer Eddie Vedder said in da new Pearl Jam album on sale today
"I wanna live my life with the volume full" and dats what I tink my mumzi
want too.
Da new album is named "Backspacer" after dat famous leatherback sea turtle
dat won da Great Turtle Race" dat Sandy wrote about on dis GPDD and Sammy
and his frins been helpin dem turtles lay der eggs and get dose eggs
hatched with nobody stealin dem eggs, bin a great success, dey had a great
turtle baby season wit all da extra help. But I digress....
And Mum and Shipwreck Sam's mum want to apologize day dey have not written
da story about da memorial service whee had on board for da many bridge
piggies and mums and GPDD dear frin Debbie, who went to the bridge! Dey
had it set up as a joint project but Sammy's mum didn't get it dat Alge
was gettin sicker until much time had passed, and Sandy should just have
done it herself, but thought any day tings would be better. Zo dey still
are going to write it up cause dey feel strongly about it, but da part of
da story dat needed all the names of the on board piggies will be written
differently, da ceremony though, is da same, an just as beautiful, I know
it brought tears to my eyes dat I had a hard time finishing my speech. So
my mum and Sandy apologize an ask for forgiveness. But I digress.....
So dats it frins, my mumzi is sick, actually sicker, and I am hopin and
praying she gets well an me and Barnacle Bill gonna help her as much as
whee can, and whee wish for all your support and love an I just wanna say,
give your piggie a hug an your kids, an husbin, wifes, and kiddies cause
dey is special and dat love is what makes da world go round. So see I aint
zo tough after all, Now you all scums get back to work or whatever, and
make
lots visits home, da Pearl remains on active voyage, but give your frinz
a hug now and especially dont forget Live Like a Pirate and Speak Like a
PIRATE, cause Yo Ho! Yo Ho!! Itz a pirates life for me, and my mumzi,
an all my frins.(all piggies repeat the refrain, Yo Ho! Yo Ho!! Itz a
pirates
life for me) The Cap'n shouts "DISS.....MISSED!!"
(da piggies are all standing in kind of a stunned silence as Cap'n Jack
takes out da towel an dabs at his eyes and brow, he puts his
bottle-o-grog to his lips & takes a deep swig sayin "To my wunerful Mumzi"
den he passes it to Barnacle Bill who takes his draught sayin "To Mumzi",
Agents Igor and Fugly come to their senses first and snap a smart salute to
Cap'n Jack, who returns it. The assembly follows suit raggedly, and
Barnacle
Bill passes the grog to the secret agents who also toast Alge and they pass
it to
the throng who one-by-one share a kind of communion of friendship and
love among themselves, and for Alge. A long rolling clap of thunder rolls
over
the ship and a drop of rain hits the deck, a small rainbow appears between
the clouds so whee know our Bridge frins have been present, surely the
Jolly Rodents and Deb among many many others. The dolphins give a great
leap in unison, and leave in a "V" formation. Then another thunder clap,
rain spatters, Jodie and Peaches take turns with the grog, lifting the
bottle high,
arms linked, saying together "to Alge" then hug as they pass the bottle to
Shipwreck Sam, who whispers "to Alge", he clicks the recorder OFF....)
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