[Gpdd] MISC: Starlight, my love
oreochockc at yahoo.com
Fri Sep 28 06:54:56 EDT 2018
My apologies for any confusion. I did my post a few minutes after losing my precious girl. Those words are what flowed out of me at that time.
We got Starlight and her sister, Sunshine, when they were about a couple months old. We were very surprised when a month later, Sunshine blessed us with an adorable little girl and Starlight blessed us with a gorgeous baby boy. I was honored that they chose me and I hope I was a decent mommy to them. Starlight has always been small but as my girls got older, they lost some weight. Starlight was pretty small at about one pound. She didn't eat as much as I'd liked but her output was great. That means lots of gorgeous poos! I could feel her shoulder blades but she seemed okay. Lately she seemed to have a little trouble with her back feet, like they hurt. We weren't sure if she had arthritis as for the most recent days she didn't seem to want to walk much. The weather here has been very warm lately so maybe that affected her. She also had a weepy eye. We would gently remove the 'crusties' from her cheek daily. A vet that we recently found said that there isn't any good way to treat it.
I've been crying a bit. At a very low moment I looked around for a sharp object to stab myself with but couldn't find any. At best, I managed to cut myself and lost some blood. I'm stuck with a sore wound. I don't have any friends or anyone I'm close to. Not that I would want to depress anyone but I'm left without a shoulder to cry on. My husband, Mikey, has to endure my sadness up to a point. Yes, as her caretaker and mommy, I feel responsible for whatever happens to her and feel that I deserve the same fate.
My savior is my little boy, Spikey, whom we got from the humane society about five years ago. They said he was eight months old when he joined our family. He's managed to make me smile with his adorable antics. It's been difficult but I hope Spikey can forgive me that I haven't been fully functional lately. But I'm doing my best when I can.
I have been very despondent. Perhaps I will seek professional help in the near future.
Mommy Corrine and daddy Mikey
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