[Gpdd] Bridge: Snowy Bear is gone RIP Little One. You Were and Are loved.

[DaPiggyPirates at aol.com]

Dear Corrine,

     You know how emotionally involved and stricken I've been over little 
Snowy Bear, as are so many of the wonderful members on here. Do you realize 
that you always believe a bad outcome is somehow your fault? And now you are 
saying that you're a "murderer." No you are not, dear one. After something 
bad happens, some of us relive it over and over and think of all the things 
that, if we had done or said differently, would have changed the outcome. And 
we hold ourselves responsible or accountable. We are not and you are not. 
The bladder obstruction was the one concrete thing.
     
     I suspect that I am only second to you in my ability to blame myself 
for anything that either: A) went wrong with my human children; or: B) that 
goes wrong with my "little guys." 

     Corrine, it ain't your fault! 

     I cannot emphasize that strongly enough. Only God has power over 
something like that, but we won't go what you might rightfully expect from Him. 
Comfort and Support at such a time would, I think, might be a reasonable 
expectation. Guidance, HAD you had the opportunity to have made a decision. But 
I'm not even certain of that. I'm inclined to want to include guidance, but 
I don't really know. It's rather easy to confuse our own strong desire with 
divine guidance.

     You were trying your hardest to help little Snowy Bear. There are 
owners that might not have even noticed that he had a problem.

     It is the vet who is the responsible party in this situation. How dare 
she do such an amputation without first consulting you. And from further 
reading, it seems that you were actually there in the vet clinic or office 
waiting while Snowy Bear had his surgery. Is this correct? Dear God, she had 
every obligation to ask you what she should do. You NEVER approved the 
procedure she performed.

     Among my friends and relatives I have attorneys and doctors -- ah, but 
no vets. But what I have learned is that these people, on the whole, do not 
like to have complaints filed against them with whatever their governing 
body. With attorneys it's the (State) Bar Association. With medical people the 
AMA (American Medical Association). I am not suggesting that you file suit 
of any kind, (but that's just my personal opinion. As is everything that I 
write. Do as you will.), but a formal written complaint would not be at all 
out of order and might be a strong wake up call for this vet.

     (It sounds like I have shady friends and relatives. Actually, this is 
advice that they have given me for my own instruction.)

     What she did was unconscionable.

     She could have sent her tech out to say that there was no way to 
eliminate his obstruction and mention that she would do an experimental surgery 
(and described what it involved) IF you so desired. She also had the option 
of asking you (or having her tech ask you) if, given that it was her belief 
that Snowy Bear's obstruction couldn't be corrected, would you want her to 
just, while he was unconscious, help him on to the Bridge. 

     Absolutely, it was your decision to make. Not hers. 

     But as angry as I am with this vet right now, maybe she felt that (in 
her eyes) all was lost since she couldn't dislodge the obstruction. Perhaps 
she thought there was one possible way to help Snowy Bear. Only she didn't 
consult you, she acted rashly. Good intention; wrong action. Maybe her heart 
was in the right place???

     But I still keep coming back to the conviction that what she did was 
inexcusable.

     Nevertheless, SHE made that decision, not you. Also, had there been no 
way available to relieve the pressure on his bladder had there not been 
surgery, the outcome still could have been horrible.

     You know the bumper sticker that reads:   S*** Happens. Over several 
decades I have come to believe that sometimes that's the only real answer. So 
please quit blaming yourself. You don't deserve blame, just all the love 
and support that you can get.

Sharing your sadness,
Alge


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